I Won't Be a Princess Bride, But...

Okay. After a deeper previous post, which yielded some truly thoughtful comments on what's in a name (thanks, y'all!), I was going to go to my next think-piece. But people keep asking for pictures of me trying on wedding dresses. So, while I may not ever be a Princess Bride, in the words of one famous farm boy...

Enjoy the pictures. (And next time, I'm going to tell you how I *really* feel about a certain major bridal apparel company. And then, back to the think pieces. Probably. And more updates to #TheList!)

THE DRESSES*

There was the dress with the lovely back...

Kudos to the MOB for this artsy shot.

And the dress that taught me I truly hate chiffon...

I like nothing about this. No. Thing.

And the dresses that taught me I actually don't hate lace and/or some delicate detailing...

And the one princess-y dress that I did kinda like...

And the other princess-y dress - the one that wanted to TAKE OVER THE WORLD:

This dress was big.

Dramatically, emphatically big.

GIANT DRESS IS COMING FOR YOU!

*None of these are THE dress. But each of them taught me something, bringing me one step closer to figuring out what to wear for the big day. Even GIANT DRESS. Thanks to the MOB and the Diana for taking pictures, and helping me keep this stressful outing light. 

A Visit from The MOB

This past week, I had a visit from the MOB.

The MOB.

Don't worry - I'm referring, of course, to my mama, not the mafia. Which reminds me: I put together the Off Season Acronym Glossary (TCOSAG, natch), which will probably continue to grow. So anytime the alphabet-soup gets confusing over here, head over there.

Even with the help of fun acronyms, I don't even really have the words to describe how grateful I feel at this time of my life - at least, when I'm paying attention, like right now. I ran out of fingers and toes with which to count my blessings quite some time ago. This week, in particular, with my mom in town, The Fiance busy but around whenever he could be, a local production of one of my plays selling out here (The Show being part of the reason for this trip's timing, along with some early-stage W-Word planning)-- I just have a lot for which to be thankful, and I need to remember that. 

Especially when I'm sniffle-y about my mother being a thousand miles away again, and not seeing my dad, and feeling exhausted and slightly overwhelmed by how much is on my plate at the moment, I need to remember: I have it really freakin' good right now. These are the good days, and I want to savor them.

So without further ado, though this post can't do the week justice, here are some fun pictures and stories from my week with the MOB, day by day. Incidentally, this packed itinerary should also help explain why I've fallen behind on the blog. Totally justified.

THURSDAY NIGHT - ARRIVAL & SHOW OPENING

The MOB arrived. We celebrated with some wine and cheese at the house, along with some chips she had brought (an inside joke recently established). The MOB and I dashed over to the theater to work the box office for The Show, greeting audience members and then watching a great opening night performance. We went out to the pub after the show to celebrate with some food, drink, and theater-storytelling.

FRIDAY - WRITING DAY

Beautiful Bloody Mary.

We got up, took the pups for a walk, then headed to Coffee Shop #1, and commenced caffeinating ourselves while writing and working (like mother, like daughter). We took a brief break for lunch with The Fiance's coworkers, who also happen to be my former coworkers, so those rendezvous are always a good time. From there, we went to Coffee Shop #2 to get the rest of the work/writing for the day done... and may have squeezed in some W-Word shop talk, too. Then it was time to head home, grab a bite, and head back to the theater, where the MOG and FOG were also awaiting - they had driven in for a weekend mini-visit to see the show. Friday night's performance was even better than opening night. Post-show, following a quick interview with a reporter, we decided to head home rather than go out on the town this time. Instead, I introduced MOB to The Walking Dead. Sorry, FOB... she's coming home addicted.

SATURDAY - ACRONYM BRUNCH, DRESSES, & MAI TAIS 

MOB IN THE BACKGROUND!

After starting another day with a pup-walk, we had what I'll call the Acronym Brunch: breakfast food and Bloody Marys with the MOB, MOG, and FOG. We were able to recap the show, talk a little W-word, and fix our own fabulous Bloody Marys at the 101 ingredient bottomless Bloody Mary Bar. What could be better? Then the MOG&FOG had to hit the road, the Fiance had to head to rehearsal, and MOB & I went to grab my friend Diana..

...so I could then screw up my courage and try on a few DRESSES. Aaaaaaaiiiieeee! That will warrant its own post. (Here's one picture to tide you over for now. No, this is not THE dress, but it's pretty, right?)

We dress-ed, and then we had some Mai Tais and variations on Mai Tais. Then, though there was another performance that night, I said we didn't have to go (the cast, full of favorite friends, had informed me that it scared the crap out of them when I was in the audience). "Well, if you don't want to scare the crap out of them," the MOB said simply, "We'll wear wigs."

So we did. Which probably did scare the crap out of some people. But ya gotta give the woman points for style. We saw the show AND went out for cast/crew dinner post-show... in wigs. Yep.

I didn't come from nowhere, people.

SUNDAY - SHELTERS, SHARING, SHOPPING
Sunday we had the smallest bit of blessed downtime, so we all sat around on couches reading for awhile (bliss!), then I made us a big breakfast, we lounged a little more and watched some Orange Is The New Black (DON'T EVER GO TO PRISON, y'all), then headed to the city shelter to bathe and tend to some pups. From there, we came home and re-hydrated, then the Fiance stayed in while the MOB and I headed out for some shopping and secret-sharing. I can't tell you the secrets, but I can tell you this: we are both really, really, really bad at shopping. Specifically, we are bad at letting salespeople help us. When salespeople get aggressive, we bail. We went to several clothing stores, bought nothing, then went to Fresh Market and bought a lot of groceries. We are very good at grocery shopping. And making dinner. And talking. Take that, salespeople.

MONDAY - TAKIN' WHAT THEY'RE GIVIN'... & A COMEDY SHOW
Monday, the MOB got to stay at home with the pets while the workweek beckoned for a bit. But I picked the MOB up at lunch, we had some Mexican for lunch (her request - true story: the FOB ate too much Tex-Mex when we road-tripped to Arizona when I was in high school, and claimed he'd eaten so much he never wanted to eat Mexican again; that was in 1995, and he's sticking to his guns on this one), then worked side-by-side for the afternoon before taking the pups for a walk, then grabbing dinner and heading downtown to see some friends in an improvisational comedy show. Mostly what we remember about this is how FREAKING HOT it was in the venue. Seriously. Freaking. Hot.

TUESDAY - THE LAST DAY (THERE MAY HAVE BEEN TEARS)
I tried to get the must-do work done as quickly as possible, so the MOB and I could enjoy lunch with the Fiance (Indian, this time, per the MOB's request - she has good taste). Then we had some coffee, and buckled down and got some W-Word stuff done, including putting together a spreadsheet for the guest list, and talking some turkey about structure of the weekend and such. We made a brief appearance at a friend's farewell party, and tried to go to a cool new bar, but it was too crowded.

Our writer-nails

So then, since D had rehearsal and it was our last night of the visit, we had a truly glorious girl's night in. We had some wine. We painted our nails and embellished them with newsprint to make epic writer nails. We had some cheesecake for National Cheesecake Day. We watched some more of The Walking Dead. We talked. I mean, come on - wine and cheese(cake), girly-talking and nail-painting, and zombies: best mother-daughter night ever!

Early the next morning, I woke up crying and wrote the MOB a note thanking her for her visit, and for everything else she is and does. And then she began her 1,000 mile drive back home, to the FOB, who missed her intensely while she was here.

Because that's how it is with the MOB. Wherever the MOB isn't, you keep looking around...

And so, to dry the tears and keep forward momentum, here's a bonus quick update on THE LIST:

#TheList

1. A Partner

2. Two Men of Honor

3. Fantastic Family

4. A Tentative Date

5. A Chuppah Builder

6. A venue!! (Drum roll, please...)

7. Photographers!! (More on that soon, too!)
8. An officiant!!! (Yes, yes, more updates soon!)
9. A guest list spreadsheet (Boring, but vital. Now, to start plugging in names...)

In Which The Anti-Shelby Starts #TheList

I would like to start this post by thanking my darling friend who blogs over at tessacotton (check her out - she's amazing, and much more visually gifted than I am). When I ranted recently about not being so into "wedding colors," her response included this perfecto clip:

Ah, Shelby. Thanks, Tessa! (Especially since I just saw the stage version of this a week ago, and for real sat in the audience thinking OMG BRIDE-WISE I AM THE ANTI-SHELBY, I laughed all the harder when you found this clip. Brilliant.)

In other good news, I have started a LIST. I know it only magnifies my already unbelievable nerdy-ness, but manoman do I love lists. Pink may not be my signature color, but lists are one of my signature accessories.

STEP ONE: PARTNER. Check.
(The Fiance & The Off-Season Me)

This list will be a running list, which I shall include at the end of all forthcoming posts, to keep track of where I am with W-Word Related Tasks/Planning. It shall simply be known as #TheList.

When I add something to #TheList, I'll explain it. So here's what we're starting with on #TheList:

A Partner. That would be The Fiance. I have someone who will be waiting when I reach the end of the aisle*. 

Really, that's the number one priority here, in this whole crazy endeavor, so whew-- covered!

Two Men of Honor. We haven't yet figured out or invited the full Bridal Brigade/Groomsguard, but I have already invited two of my favorite people in the whole entire universe to be my Men of Honor. Adam, my brother, is my closest confidante, the most hilarious guy you'll ever meet, super smart, AND HE HAS EYES THAT ARE TWO DIFFERENT COLORS (true story). Noah, my college bestie, has numbered among my favorites ever since we met by literally running into each other our first day of college. He is loyal, passionate, and when we were orientation leaders on campus we had matching WILL & GRACE shirts... AND matching Noah-Pea & Bethie-Poo shirts (ah, college).

Awesome MOB, FOB, MOG, and FOG. That'd be our parents. They all like us, and they all like each other, and after being in lots and lots of weddings, I tell you what - this is a blessing not to be taken for granted. Actually, I'll extend this list item to fantastic family, in general. 

A Tentative Date. Which shall not be revealed until we have things like a confirmed venue. Which is one of this month's major goals: get a venue confirmed.

A Chuppah Builder. If you're unfamiliar with what a chuppah is, the short answer is "wedding canopy," and a beautiful longer explanation lives here. We won't be purchasing a chuppah, we'll be purchasing construction materials and letting our friend Richard do the real work of building it. Richard is a dear friend, a self-proclaimed curmudgeon (especially when he's hungry - which is something we have bonded over), a marvelous/loyal/book-reading gem of a man, and the most talented theatre professional anyone could ever hope to meet. His set design and construction skills are incredible, and I can't even tell you how grateful we are that he's taking on chuppah construction.

That's the starting point. With less than eight months to go, we have our work cut out for us in filling out #TheList. But we'll get there. With a team like this, how can there be any doubt?

#TheList

1. A Partner

2. Two Men of Honor

3. Fantastic Family

4. A Tentative Date

5. A Chuppah Builder

*To be clear, an aisle has yet to be procured.

The Princess Wedding Dress I Bought on Ebay

Princess in the Front.

I bought a wedding dress.

But don't get too excited. It's not THE DRESS.

It's a beautiful dress. A total, 100% Princess Wedding Dress. I mean, if a big-eyed, rags-clad heroine with evil step-relations is told by her Fairy Godmother to close her eyes, and Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo, wand waves, sparks fly -- when the air clears and she opens her eyes, this is the sort of dress the newly-revealed princess-to-be is wearing.

I've been stalking wedding dresses on ebay for a few weeks now, not as a serious buyer, but just to see what's out there, what I like, and that sort of thing. But this baby caught my eye. She was elegant. She was new, with tags still attached. And somehow, her siren song missed most ears, and so amazingly, I bought her for $50 plus shipping.

I made the purchases for a few reasons, ranging from silly-but-understandable (this retailed for $750, was an overstock floor model never actually worn - did I mention I got it for $50, people!?) to dumb-and-admittedly-ridiculous (I've done nothing else, planning-wise, all month, and this somehow felt like, well, something)... but mostly, I bought it because I just needed to know.

Is this going to be me? Is this what I want? Am I going to be a princess bride?

That's what I would have wanted to be, ten years ago. (Closer to twenty years ago, I would have coveted a princess-y wedding dress like this, but only if the Prince Charming who would meet me at the end of the aisle was Dean Cain, specifically Dean Cain as Clark Kent/Superman, since all other boys were still gross.) A beautiful, glamorous girl, transformed and almost unrecognizable in my resplendent royal white gown.

(Elegant Bridal) Party
in the Back.

The dress is chiffon, and has the sort of train that requires attendants, or at least solid arrangement and a reliable floor to drag it across; it even has a dainty little wrist strap, so the wearer can hold up the train when it can no longer be safely dragged.

When it arrived, the box was heavier than I had expected it to be. I tried it on, all by myself. Somehow it was even heavier out of the box, weighed down with layers and detailing... and, if you'll forgive me a little purple prose spilled across the pure white dress, it also shuddered with the weight of dreams and expectations now expired.

The dress is beautiful. But it isn't me.

Some part of me already knew it wouldn't be. But I had to buy it; I had to really and truly know.

Don't worry, Mom: I'm not really going to buy a dress on eBay, sight unseen, to just rip off the band-aid, forego the Ritual of Dress Shopping, and have done with it.  We can go and try on dresses. But when we do, I'm pretty sure I won't be trying on a lot of big, poofy princess dresses. They're lovely. But they're not what I want anymore, just like I don't want red roses or Fairy Godmothers or Dean Cain.

I want something that feels like me. The best, most beautiful, polished-and-shined me, of course - but me. Not some pining princess, at last saved by the arrival of magical helpers who make everything a picture-perfect fantasy. All grown up, I'm the sort of girl who prefers the cupcake to the frosting. I don't like it when things are too sugar-y, too pretty to be believed. I didn't outgrow my old dreams. I grew into goals and a life that I find even more appealing.

So the dress is back on eBay. Hopefully, I'll get at least some of my money back on it, which I'll squirrel away for when I find THE DRESS, and maybe in the meantime I'll get to make some other couple happy when they score the princess dress of their dreams.

Want to hear something funny? Can't make this stuff up: the current high bidder's user name is MrSappy####. 

I KID YOU NOT.

(PS I know, I know, I should never refer to anything as Princess Bride without referring to the movie. I promise an overt reference to TPB in a later post, to make up for it.)

Sanity, Squared

So, there was the stress-creeping-in post earlier this week. It was a relief just to put that out there a bit, before diving back into the madness that is this week. Because this week is just one of those weeks.

It's one of those weeks that I have work gigs pulling me in several different directions.

It's one of those weeks where there is something on the calendar for the evening, EVERY evening.

This chat message happened in real life.

It's one of those weeks where I was super proud to carve out half an hour to go to the gym yesterday... only to realize, when I got home, that I'd been wearing my drawstring shorts backwards.

One of those weeks.

But luckily, I have resources and allies. People that help keep me sane and smiling.

Like my mother, now known as THE MOB (Mother of the Bride), who sent a sweet and supportive message my way.

My friend Nicole, in from out of town, who just kept fist-bumping me about how awesome this part of life is - yeah, dude! (She also survived a fall from a six story building and is kind of amazing for perspective and inspiration, in general).

And of course, The Fiancé, who can always make me laugh. See the image in this post? Up and to the right? That'd be the opening to a chat conversation we had yesterday. Welcome to my life. It's pretty nerdtastic.

All that to say - more soon. And it'll be good. Even if it's "off"... it'll ultimately be good. 'Cause it'll all work out in the end, and if it's not okay, it's not the end.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!