Journeys & Destinations

Here's where the rehearsal dinner will be!

With just over a month to go, it was time for one last trip to W-Town. So the WSMs, the Chuppah Master, and I hit the road early Saturday morning.

First stop: Lunch at the Rehearsal Dinner Venue. The MOG & FOG met us at the Italian restaurant where they will be hosting the rehearsal dinner. It was a lovely visit, a lovely lunch, and we were able to compare notes on other items on #TheList.

Bonus: Delicious Italian foods means that the rehearsal dinner will fit right in with the "our wedding theme is carbs" plan.

Second Stop: Scouting Out the Venue. With a new floor plan in mind and our Chuppah Master on hand for the first time, we cast new eyes on the ol' venue and made a few important decisions.

This is how I make the fiance jealous.

Third Stop: Donuts. Again with the carbs. Also, this particular donut shop is D's favorite. How could I pass up the opportunity to have my friends snap a picture of me, enjoying-but-also-regretting enjoying one of those babies without him? (His reply when I texted him this photo: "My favorite person eating my favorite donuts? No fair!" Aww.)

Fourth Stop: The Open Bar. That's not the name, of course. But loyal readers will recall the tales of the not-actually stabby gay bar that is now our second home in W-Town. This time, no one's pants hit the floor. This time. (It was earlier in the day. And anyway, we'll be back.)

Fifth Stop: Night Lighting. We ran back to the venue right as it was closing, just to see what the lighting-at-dusk situation would really be. Good news: it'll work.

So much for small ice cream.

Sixth Stop: Sushi and Gas Stations. No, don't worry, not sushi in a gas station - sushi and several gas stations. Yeah, we actually stopped a couple of times on the three hour drive back home. (Luckily, when all the passengers have to pee frequently, none can judge.) Chuppah Master-R wasn't that hungry when we stopped for sushi, so he decided to just get a little ice cream. Lesson learned... there's no such thing as a little ice cream at that sushi place.

The trip was good, and the time with friends was even better. As WSM-D sweetly and astutely observed, these moments are what we'll remember. Maybe even more than the blur of the wedding day. Sharing jokes in a car. Stopping embarrassingly often to pee. Revealing a few secrets. Laughing.

The journey, even more than any destination.

72 Days To Go: The Theme of Our Wedding Is Carbs

Progress on #TheList, y'all!

This week, we headed out of town to visit first my grandparents and then the fiance's parents. That means we got to see three out of the four parents - the MOG, FOG, and as a lovely bonus, the MOB came down South to visit her father.

We were just one town over from Wedding-Town. So, with the MOB in tow, we went to the venue, signed all final contract paperwork, paid 25% of our rental costs, talked through the logistics... and absolutely beyond any shadow of a doubt, THE VENUE IS SET.

Invitations arrived, and we took them with us on our road trip. With the help of the MOG, we stuffed all envelopes, and by Monday they will be in the mail, and INVITATIONS WILL BE SET.

Welcome to our wedding dinner.

We also got to eat out at the gourmet-pizza place we were hoping would be able to cater the wedding, hoping that it's as good as we'd been hearing. Good news: IT WAS. Which means between that, and the craft beer we're bringing in, I'm pretty sure that THE THEME OF OUR WEDDING IS SET... AND IT'S "CARBS."

Getting real.

...And Everyone's Still Talking About That Cake

I've started writing this post several times, and tripping over my words. Usually, that happens to me when I'm talking, not when I'm writing. But in this case, even when writing, I find myself at a bit of a loss. Sometimes that happens, when you're just completely overwhelmed by just how incredible the people around you are.

A few weeks ago, the parents were all in town. The MOB, FOB, MOG, and FOG all came in to see the show. The show, which was a lot of fun but also sucked up all the free time the fiance and I might have had. We hit the pause button on wedding planning. We certainly didn't have the bandwidth to put together a nice little party while our parents were in town.

So our friends did it for us - the world's best engagement party.

The Diva (Photo by FOG)

Our cherished friend Denise - AKA "the Diva" - was the amazing powerhouse behind the world's best engagement party. It was her idea, her coordination, her lovely and humbling gift. Denise is a director, and in addition to having a wonderful vision for this party, she assembled a stellar cast to help her; our friends Malaika and Nate, in particular, who helped with everything from decorations to collecting addresses from attendees.

There were several things that made this the world's best engagement party, but two things stand out above all: the people who were there, an assembly of family and urban family whose love and support filled the room to overflowing... AND THE CRAZY AWESOME CAKE.

THE CRAZY AWESOME CAKE.

People are still talking about that cake. Because it was crazy awesome. And perfect.

It was an intimate and lovely evening. Denise supplied champagne and invited guests to make toasts. Many toasts were made, some funny, some poignant (my dad promised he wouldn't tear up during his, but then did anyway), and concluded with a toast from the hostess herself, along with a Khalil Gibran poem.

Leaving that night, I felt so incredibly blessed. So undeservedly fortunate. Denise's generosity, and the goodwill of our loved ones, is more than I can ever adequately respond to with enough thanks. Re-living it all again, I'm a blubbering mess, y'all. (And that's just over the engagement party. Imagine me at the freaking wedding. The off-season, ugly-girl-crying bride...)

Revelers! (Photo by Wayne Thomas)

I would go on and on, but I'd just get more emotional. So instead I'll just say thank you. Thank you, Diva. Thank you, urban family. From the bottom of my (ugly-girl-crying) heart.

Us (Photo by FOG)

“Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls...” - Kahlil Gibran

Eclectic, Efficient, Elegant, and... Elvis!

So, this weekend was the Venue Visit extravaganza. As you may recall, the plan was supposed to go something like this: venue, food, venue, brewery tour, venue, venue, vodka.

Be proud: we stuck very close to the plan. So without further ado, here are the venues we visited (WHICH COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER!), in a few words and a few pictures each.

FIRST VENUE: ECLECTIC, AKA THE FUNKY MUSEUM
Our first stop was a modern art museum, which had three possible spaces - turns out only one of which might be viable for us, since two of them are for functions of 75 people or fewer, and we're pretty sure we'll have more than 75 people on hand for the big day (we ARE thinking relatively small, but relatives alone = more than 75 people). This museum was badly damaged in Hurricane Katrina; construction is still ongoing, but what is already finished is beautiful and interesting, with lots of natural light.

• The Oh, Yes Factors: We both loved the look and feel of the place; there's an entire separate structure included for "bridal party prep"; the location is accessible and scenic; windows everywhere = amazing outdoor feel, indoors; the rates are reasonable; we can bring in our own catering and bar, with no venue-imposed rules.
• The Big Red Flag(s): As a museum and not an event-driven venue, there are no "extras" included; we'd have to do all our own set up, rental of tables/linens, and handle all arrangements with outside vendors. Woof.
• The Pictures:

Nice view, huh? Also the venue is nice ;-)

One end of the room we would be in

The other end of the room we would be in

The center quad in the museum campus. Fiance provides scale.

LOVE this exterior staircase!

Exterior Party Courtyard, adjacent to the interior space we'd use.

SECOND VENUE: EFFICIENT, AKA THE DEDICATED WEDDING HALL 
We picked up D's parents, then headed to the second venue. I was a little nervous about this one-- only because D had mentioned it to his best friend, who said "Oh man, I went to a wedding there once. Total crap hole." Luckily, turns out this friend was thinking of a different place (he drinks a lot at weddings). This place was really lovely and impeccably kept, and all they do is weddings. It's a big hall with a stage and a dance floor, plus a gorgeous covered courtyard with a pretty fountain. Here, weddings are their business, and business seems to be good.

• The Oh, Yes Factors: For one fee, this place covers just about everything: the space, the tables, the chairs, the linens, the A/V set up - you can even order the catering and bar through them, if you choose (although those are separate fees). Lots of light. Huge space. Very professional.
• The Big Red Flag(s): This was the most expensive venue we viewed. It's also sort of off the beaten path, and while the space itself is great and very functional, there's nothing around it... like, at all.
• The Pictures:

Pretty Fleur de Lis wall decorations

Outdoor Patio. Clearly where The Smokers hang.

One end of the courtyard. No, dude wasn't peeing in the fountain.

FOG scopes out the interior space

INTERMISSION: LUNCH & BREWERY TOUR

Having already made it through a three hour drive and two venue tours, it was high time for lunch. And a brewery tour because, hey, they stopped tours after 2:30. 

Priorities, y'all.

The brewery was small, but the tour guide was enthusiastic, and it was nice to have a brief and 100% stress-free intermission.

Also, beer.

THIRD VENUE: THE HOTEL ELVIS LOVED

We had to look at one hotel, right? There are plenty of pros to utilizing a venue set up not only to host, but also to house. We chose to explore this one, which was a little off the beaten path but adjacent to a golf course and set in a beautiful, tree-filled residential neighborhood - and, its real claim to fame? Elvis vacationed at this hotel, every summer, for seven years. There's even a Love Me Tender suite. Yep.

• The Oh, Yes Factors: The staff at this place was awesome; very friendly, very knowledgeable. The hotel rooms were small but nice, and the rate for wedding guests is awesome - and they throw in a free room for the bride and groom, the night of the wedding. The ballroom had one side for dining, and one side for dancing, the huge bonus being you could do both at once. They do all set up and breakdown, security is included, custodial is included. Pretty much as efficient as the last place!
• The Big Red Flag(s): The space was all-interior, and pretty dark, not necessarily in a good way - no natural light whatsoever. It's also sort of retro, not in the best of ways. But the biggest red flag (other than Elvis freaks showing up): in addition to their fees, the hotel requires all beer/wine/liquor be purchased through them, and while the fees weren't crazy, the limited selection was. Like, it'd be a Bud / Bud Light / Bud Lime Wedding.
• The Pictures:

Front-side view of guest room wing. Also, kind of a rear view.

Our great tour guide, plus the dance floor

Dance floor / Dining floor (Yeah... that carpet...)

Dining Hall with chairs/tables (included - another bonus)

Oh, yeah! Other YES factors: Giant Lobby Bell... AND ELVIS.

FOURTH VENUE: ELEGANT, AKA THE SOUTHERN SWEETHEART
The final venue we visited was on recommendation from the FOG.* It was a little further out, but just off the highway. Unfortunately, we couldn't get inside to see the interior, but weren't too concerned - FOG has a relationship with the owner and should be able to score us some pictures. Meanwhile, as you'll see, the exterior was gorgeous Southern charm.

• The Oh, Yes Factors: Beautiful and full of Southern charm - you can just imagine the gorgeous photographs this setting yields. FOG's existing familiarity with the owner and the space is also a bonus.
• The Big Red Flag(s): This space is the second most expensive - without including the set-up, tables, linens, and everything the hotel or dedicated wedding venue offers for comparable pricing.
• The Pictures:

Walkway to the front of the venue.

Walkway to the back of the venue. Also awwww.

Whew. A long day, but a good day. The fiance was a total rock star, as were the FOG & MOG. All four of the venues were truly good options (take that, Venue That Already Got Booked). It was both fun and strange to think are we going to get married here? at each place.

None would be a bad choice. And at the end of the day, whatever one we choose is just backdrop. The real point is, we will wind up good and married, wherever it happens.

So. After finishing the Venue Visits, next step was supposed to be Vodka.

It wound up being homemade mandarin orange margaritas, made by my future in-laws.

WIN.

And speaking of win, now for the fun guessing game: weighing cost vs. convenience, look vs. logistics, and so on... any guesses as to which venue we're seriously contemplating?!

*I'm going to create a glossary soon, to reiterate/permanently record all acronyms used here: FOG = Father Of Groom, and so on. 

In Which The Anti-Shelby Starts #TheList

I would like to start this post by thanking my darling friend who blogs over at tessacotton (check her out - she's amazing, and much more visually gifted than I am). When I ranted recently about not being so into "wedding colors," her response included this perfecto clip:

Ah, Shelby. Thanks, Tessa! (Especially since I just saw the stage version of this a week ago, and for real sat in the audience thinking OMG BRIDE-WISE I AM THE ANTI-SHELBY, I laughed all the harder when you found this clip. Brilliant.)

In other good news, I have started a LIST. I know it only magnifies my already unbelievable nerdy-ness, but manoman do I love lists. Pink may not be my signature color, but lists are one of my signature accessories.

STEP ONE: PARTNER. Check.
(The Fiance & The Off-Season Me)

This list will be a running list, which I shall include at the end of all forthcoming posts, to keep track of where I am with W-Word Related Tasks/Planning. It shall simply be known as #TheList.

When I add something to #TheList, I'll explain it. So here's what we're starting with on #TheList:

A Partner. That would be The Fiance. I have someone who will be waiting when I reach the end of the aisle*. 

Really, that's the number one priority here, in this whole crazy endeavor, so whew-- covered!

Two Men of Honor. We haven't yet figured out or invited the full Bridal Brigade/Groomsguard, but I have already invited two of my favorite people in the whole entire universe to be my Men of Honor. Adam, my brother, is my closest confidante, the most hilarious guy you'll ever meet, super smart, AND HE HAS EYES THAT ARE TWO DIFFERENT COLORS (true story). Noah, my college bestie, has numbered among my favorites ever since we met by literally running into each other our first day of college. He is loyal, passionate, and when we were orientation leaders on campus we had matching WILL & GRACE shirts... AND matching Noah-Pea & Bethie-Poo shirts (ah, college).

Awesome MOB, FOB, MOG, and FOG. That'd be our parents. They all like us, and they all like each other, and after being in lots and lots of weddings, I tell you what - this is a blessing not to be taken for granted. Actually, I'll extend this list item to fantastic family, in general. 

A Tentative Date. Which shall not be revealed until we have things like a confirmed venue. Which is one of this month's major goals: get a venue confirmed.

A Chuppah Builder. If you're unfamiliar with what a chuppah is, the short answer is "wedding canopy," and a beautiful longer explanation lives here. We won't be purchasing a chuppah, we'll be purchasing construction materials and letting our friend Richard do the real work of building it. Richard is a dear friend, a self-proclaimed curmudgeon (especially when he's hungry - which is something we have bonded over), a marvelous/loyal/book-reading gem of a man, and the most talented theatre professional anyone could ever hope to meet. His set design and construction skills are incredible, and I can't even tell you how grateful we are that he's taking on chuppah construction.

That's the starting point. With less than eight months to go, we have our work cut out for us in filling out #TheList. But we'll get there. With a team like this, how can there be any doubt?

#TheList

1. A Partner

2. Two Men of Honor

3. Fantastic Family

4. A Tentative Date

5. A Chuppah Builder

*To be clear, an aisle has yet to be procured.