You'll Want To Read These! (But You Can't. Yet.)

Wedding Themed Movie Nights.

Reaching A Decision Regarding My Name.

My Last Year of Filing Taxes As A Single.

Guestzillas.

These are all blog posts that I have started, but have yet to finish, because HOLY CANNOLI. Not to sound like a broken record, but working full time + volunteering + packing up a townhouse + planning a cross-country move + selling stuff on Craigslist + managing pets + WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING PLANNING  x (being halfway across the country from the fiance for almost two months now) = if I don't put remember to breathe on my list, I will probably start turning blue.

But I WILL finish those posts.

Hopefully soon.

In the meantime - I'm going to go to bed. Because it's almost midnight, and I have to be up in six and a half hours, and get some sleep is also on my list.

xoxo

Here Are Some Of The Things Freaking Me Out, RIGHT NOW

You never think you'll have nightmares about things like tables
and table linens and plastic chairs. But you will. Oh, you will.

There are a few things - like, good things, mostly, but OMG things - freaking me out right now.

In no particular order, a sampling of the Currently Freaking Me Out List:

- In less than a month, if someone calls me "Mrs.," they will not be wrong.

- I'm having nightmares about things like missing dresses, unpaid caterers, too-few tables, hangry guests, more and more and more surprise bills.

- Per instructions from my amazing friend who is helping with decor, I just spent $200... on candles. I never thought I would make that much of a candle investment, in my entire life.

- Let alone keep up with the items on my list, I can't keep up with ALL THE LISTS I SHOULD BE MAKING.

- I haven't seen that dude I'm supposed to be marrying in a month and a half (which will be remedied soon, fortunately) and I'm kind of used to being on my own again and that's freaking me out, too.

- There are STILL people who have yet to RSVP, one way or the other. I now have guilt over any wedding to which I did not properly and promptly send my response. Karma, y'all. I'm sure I deserve this.

- I am also 100% sure I am forgetting something really, really important.

- W-Word aside, I have a lot of furniture I should be selling, boxes I should be packing, planning I should be doing, writing I want to be doing... but most days, if I can manage to get my work done, check off one or two W-Word to-do items, take care of the pets, maybe squeeze in a social visit or call, and not walk into things more than three times or use made-up words more than twice in the course of a day... well, right now a day like that is chalked up as a WIN.

All in all? THIS IS ME RIGHT NOW:

45 Days To Go: My Hot Single Life

I know you've been wondering: just how unbelievably, mind-boggling-ly exciting is Beth's off-season bachelorette life? Have I been loving it, and as Jenna Maroney would encourage, loving myself?

After all, the fiancé moved several states away recently due to getting a new job. You might think that is a case of poor timing (who wants a two month separation and a cross-country move thrown in the path of an already-overwhelming wedding?) but heyyyyyyyyyyy!

It also means being spun back out onto the dance floor SOLO for the last several weeks before I'm always in a partnered dance! Yes, darlings! I've been Living Single for the past three weeks, and tonight, I decided to share some insights into my hot, hot single life.

Read on, if you dare.

Craigslist Hookups. Oh, yeah, baby. I took some pictures. Made some posts, choosing words designed to entice. And started setting up rendezvous with random strangers from Craigslist... who are interested in purchasing used furniture and kitchen gear.

Flashin' Cold Hard Cash. Ooooh, it always feels exciting when you're walking around with wads of cash, doesn't it? Like you're about to go do something you really shouldn't. Orrrrrr like maybe you're trying to pay for most things in cash to be all budget-savvy during an expensive-event time of life. But imagine what you will!

Gettin' Sweaty. (I've been good about going to the gym.)

I think this hep cat is drunk. Better take his keys!
(I sit on the couch  run with a risque crowd.)

Gettin' Dirty. Shhhhh. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I've been feeling a lot dirtier lately. That is because I'm now the single solitary human in charge of taking out the garbage, cleaning up all messes, and cleaning the stinking kitty litter...

Animal House Partying. Okay, the jig is up: by this I literally mean I spend a lot time at the house, with animals.

Sensational Social Scene. Sincerely, I've been pretty good about alternating my nights between two separate yet equally important activities (man, that sounded awfully Law & Order): 1) Staying home and either getting things done as far as writing, wedding planning, and packing OR freaking out about what I'm not getting done as far as writing, wedding planning, and packing - AND 2) Spending quality time with the wonderful friends who are keeping me sane and smiling. Who needs dates when you have framily?*

I appreciate independence. I'll always value some solo time, especially quiet writing time. And I do plan to enjoy some more friend bonding, pet-snuggling, and so on... but overall? I think I'm officially over the single thing. It comes with a far colder home and way, way more dirty kitty litter than I remember.

*"Framily" = friends who are family - credit for the word-mash-up on that one goes to my mother. Hi, Mom! 

55 Days To Go: Muffins at Midnight

Why am I making muffins at midnight? Well. A few reasons.

UPDATE: These are the muffins.
(Yes, I registered for new muffin tins.)

1. I have a pregnant friend craving blueberries, so I already brought her blueberry tea and fresh blueberries, and told her I'd make her some sort of blueberry treat. (The muffins are blueberry.)

2. I'm trying to use up all the dry goods in my pantry, and the muffins require things I have a lot of, such as flour and oatmeal. (The muffins are oatmeal blueberry.)

3. Though I'm usually an in-bed-before midnight girl, especially on a work night, lately I'm putting off bedtime as long as possible. For starters, the house at night and especially at bedtime is still when it feels weirdest to be alone. Then there's the fact that I have so much to do right now that unless I go to bed when I'm already halfway asleep, I lie there near-panicking about the as-yet-undone items on the many floating to-do lists currently dominating my life. Weirdly, though making muffins means not taking care of other items on some Super Important List, it's calming to do something that has a clear completion. (The muffins are manageable.)

Tonight, there's the additional x-factor that a rather intimidating guy came and bought my washer. So thanks to Craigslist, this guy knows where I live. I of course mentioned "my fiance who'll be home any minute," and had the dogs locked in an adjacent room so he could hear them bark without seeing their twenty-pound-reality. He also left his old, crappy pliers behind, so I have his fingerprints if I wind up abducted later.

Not that I'm paranoid.

But I am making muffins.

On a happier related note, some transplants and friends in transition have expressed needing-to-crash interest, so could well be that as soon as tomorrow I'll have a live-in bodyguard. YOU HEAR THAT, POTENTIAL ABDUCTORS? I ALSO HAVE DOGS WHO ARE SOMEWHAT SMALL BUT NONETHELESS MIGHTY AND INSANELY PROTECTIVE.

And muffins. I also have muffins.

(And mace on my person.)

Good night.

His Last Day Here/Separation Anxiety

Rather than back-date this post so it appears on the day it happened... I'm just going to re-live the recent memories as I share these photos and thoughts tonight. They are not from tonight, or today, or yesterday. They are from Friday. Six days ago. Danny's last day as a Jacksonian.

Hard to believe this was already almost a week ago...

This was the starting plan. Almost all of it
happened! (Minus the cinema and the reservoir;
add Best Buy, Post Office, Goodwill, office...

Every Friday D gets a scone and coffee from
"his regular place." So there we went.

Saying farewell to beloved bosses.

... and seeing a coworker's pranked office.

Exploring the art garden...

...and the art museum...

...and classy artwork like this sculpture of a
chamber pot... with sculpted poo poo in it.

Contemplating "the parade of life."
(His phrase. This is why we'll wed.)

HOLY CANOLI.
(These were amazing.)

 

The fish man was out of the fish we wanted,
but we DID make it there as part of our ultimate day...

His last day here would have been incomplete
without a pint at The Pub.

We welcomed Shabbat.

And the pet crew got in all the cuddles they could.

I'll share my own love song to Mississippi, in words, in a couple of months. I won't try to write out right now the complex concoction of emotions I feel over his departure. But in looking through these photos again to create this post, I can say - man.

That was a good day.

Just Over 2 Months To Go: My Life Is A List

#TheList. It haunts me.

I've always been a list-maker, but now it's gone to the extreme. I said that this blog wouldn't be a "resource site," but I might share a clean version of my master list tomorrow in case it helps out any list-loving-but-logistics-hating folks of my ilk. Maybe it can help others, others like me who love a completed list like Cookie Monster loves a crazy big cookie.*

So.

Here's where I am with #TheList, AKA The List of What Needs To Be Done For This W-Word Thing To Happen (you can understand why I shortened it to #TheList).

Everything with a " ü "  - I've completed. Anything highlighted, I'm behind schedule on. Anything with that other weird symbol that keeps replacing my check-box icon is not yet done, but not yet overdue. I have my work cut out for me. (Also, I should note - I'm saying "I" and not "we" because while D does have a few assignments, since he's now several states away and starting an intense new job, this last couple of months of W-word planning is mostly coming down to me. On behalf of we. Luckily, I/we have an excellent on the ground AND distance cadre of people willing to help us/me get this done.)

Here's where we are:

The (Fun! Fabulous!) Off-Season

5 Month Wedding Planning Checklist

(Okay, yeah, so we've been engaged for more than 5 months - we decided to "just enjoy being engaged" for the first month or two - can't say I regret that... YET) 

5 Months Ahead

ü  Set a date – run it by important must-attend list (parents, besties) before locking it in!

ü  Book a venue for the service

ü  Book a venue for the reception (light two candles with one match and have both in the same place – BOOM – that’s our plan)

ü  Select officiant

ü  Determine a budget and how expenses will be shared

ü  Decide on a color scheme, if you’re having one

ü  Take engagement photos (and make them YOU)

ü  Guest List for Save-The-Date / the big invite

4 Months Ahead

ü  Send Save-The-Date

ü  Buy a dress (or whatever you’re planning to wear for the big day)

ü  Buy appropriate underwear (to go under said dress / whatever)

ü  Put together your ensemble (some people call them bridesmaids, groomsmen, that sort of thing, but we preferred the more-inclusive and theatrical “ensemble”)

ü  Hire a photographer

ü  Create wedding website

ü  Have some fun registering for stuff (and start looking around your place and deciding what you’re ready to donate or lovingly gift elsewhere)

ü  Start premarital counseling

3 Months Ahead

ü  Book reception entertainment

Hire a videographer – OR ASK A FRIEND!

ü  Do some tastings

ü  Hire a caterer

Book tables, chairs, linens, serving-ware, anything you may need (or make sure your venue has all of that covered
Order cake/groomscake

ü  Book rehearsal dinner location

ü  Choose ensemble attire (again, other people might call ‘em bridesmaid dresses and tuxes, but we’re going with “upscale techie”)

ü  Figure out flowers

ü  Order invitations

ü  Get hotel rooms blocked / hopefully with event discount!

ü  Contact venue to confirm timeline for day of rental

ü  Buy wedding bands

Start planning for honeymoon – making sure passports are up to date, that sort of thing…

2 Months Ahead

ü  Select and send invitations

      Draft service and program (including ensemble roles)

€       Meet with a financial planner to sort out financial plans/any merging

€       Meet with an insurance dude to figure out life insurance, discounts for auto, any policies and/or paperwork you need to plan on updating

€       Order wedding favors

€       Order Ketubah (if you’re getting married under a chuppah)

€       Send shot list / requests to photographers

€       Decorations meeting 

€       Have a tech meeting to go over set-up, sound system, etc.

1 Month Ahead

€       Arrange for time off work (wedding, at least; mini-moon/honeymoon?!)

€       Book hotel room for nights surrounding wedding, as needed (consult with family)

€       Purchase or procure accessories like guest book, aisle runner, etc.

€       Make appointment with stylist; do a test run of hair/makeup

€       Buy gifts for ensemble

ü  Get marriage license (30 days out) + any other tests or documents required by the state

€       Buy / create Jewish wedding kit (wine, glasses, glass for breaking, easel for Ketubah)

€       Harass anyone who hasn’t RSVP’d
     Send evite for rehearsal dinner

€       Finalize number of attendees and share info with rental folks, catering, etc.

2 Weeks Ahead

€       Check in with all vendors (caterer, photographer, videographer, entertainment, venue)

€       Plan seating arrangements, if you’re doing that (FYI, we’re not)

€       Test run with chuppah set-up

€       Finalize and print programs

€       Create cue list (order of how everything will go in the venue – service, cocktails, food…)

1 Week Ahead

€       Grocery shopping: put together an awesome snack basket for the ensemble

€       Mani and pedi (me)

€       Haircut (he)

€       Pack car with everything needed (that deserves its own list: dress, snacks, party favors, ketubah, wedding kit, toiletries, rings, license… yeah, seriously, make a separate list)

Day of the Show, Y’All

€       Evening before: Rehearsal

€       Evening before: Rehearsal dinner

€       Morning of: EAT FREAKIN’ BREAKFAST

€       Set up at venue with ensemble

€       Hair, makeup, costumes

€       Make sure stage managers have cue list

€       Eat, drink, and be married.

The good news is, two months out, while I am still behind... I'm not nearly as far behind as I was when I was three months out... it was frankly far too embarrassing at that point to share this list. Making progress, y'all.

*Yes. ANY EXCUSE FOR THAT GIF.

70 Days To Go: The Big Reveal

All right, I've been hinting at some "big news." So. Ready? Here goes.

BAM: My husband-to-be has accepted a new job. In Chicago.

And he leaves in a week.

This all happened within the past few weeks - the interview, the offer, the decision, the informing of employers, family, and friends before any online reveal - all so fast. He starts the new job in a little over a week, and leaves in exactly a week, and then I won't see him for weeks and weeks and weeks.

See, I won't be moving until after the wedding. I'll be staying here in Mississippi, working, packing up the townhouse, taking care of the pets, wedding-planning, trying to figure out what my plan in the big city will be, and HOLY CRAP missing him.

I'm already anticipating the HOLY CRAP missing him. We went grocery shopping today and I was pointing out that he'll be out of the house before the milk expires, this is the last spinach we'll buy before he moves, that sort of thing.

"You can't get sentimental over everything about this," he said, eyeing the spinach.

"You'd be surprised," I replied, looking mournfully at the last spinach we'll ever buy together here.

It'd be tempting to romanticize a two month separation leading up to the wedding... except at this point in my life, I find nothing romantic about long distance. I know we can get through it, I'm not worried. I'm just spoiled. I like having him around.

Truthfully, though, there's so much more to be grateful for than stressed out about, so let's accentuate the crazy amounts of positive. Timing be damned, this opportunity is fabulous. There is so much excitement ahead it almost seems unfair. Also, though the separation from D won't be fun, I'm VERY grateful for the extra time I'll get with my friends-so-close-they're-family down here. I know it would be close to impossible for both of us plus the pets to drop everything and move our whole lives at once. Especially with a wedding on the horizon, taking place here. Staying here makes sense.

But HOLY CRAP. I'll miss him. (The spinach and I, we'll be really emotional.)

So, in summary: DOUBLE BAM. 2013 can now officially be summarized as THE YEAR OF MAKING DECISIONS (let's get married! we'll move to Chicago!) and 2014 will indeed be THE YEAR OF TAKING ACTION (taking vows! moving boxes!). I think the President recently said something similar. Sorry to steal your thunder, Obama.

Here's to health, sanity, and joy as we swiftly move from talking the talk to walking the walk, down the aisle, then driving up I-55, and moving ever more rapidly into the future.

PS There are a lot of little logistics sneaking up quickly, too, in light of all this... for example, we had to go ahead and get our marriage license. That's right, we're licensed to wed, and it was a bizarre experience just getting through that bit. I'll tell that story soon. 

76 Days To Go: When It Rains, It Pours

I promise an update here that divulges details on at least some of the deluge rainin' down around here. Soon as the weather clears. But don't worry, y'all - nothing bad. Just a few more scattered showers than anticipated.

Speaking of scattered showers, by the by, a shower of the bridal sort is not something I'm having. There's enough lovely storming underway.

Someone just hand me an umbrella, please.

PS This week we'll be in Wedding-Town, so we'll be meeting with the venue manager, and the potential caterer (FINGERS CROSSED), and catching up with parents on both sides, and are SUPPOSED to be stuffing invitations, but they've yet to arrive... we'll see.

91 Days to Go: Am I A Boring Bride?

FIRST OFF: Deep sigh of relief, y'all. Finally heard back from the venue yesterday, end of day. We have a place to get married. Whew.

SECOND: Tomorrow is going to be a big day for #TheList. I may even share an original, hard-forged resource that may be of use to other off-season and/or no-muss- no-fuss-brides.

THIRD: I'm afraid I might not be a terribly interesting bride. I mean, I'm a pretty interesting person-- and as it happens, this past week has been a terribly interesting week. (Roller coaster of good, bad, and WTF?!)

But, like - most of it isn't bridal.

In fact, on a day to day basis, I don't talk, do, or even think very much about the upcoming wedding. Seeing as it's three months away, that seems a bit:

A) Bizarre - because most brides seem way, way more obsessive about all things bridal, and then there's me. After trying dresses on at a friend's house two weeks ago, I forgot about them and left them there. They're still there, including the one that we decided is, in fact, THE ONE. Oops.

B) Problematic - because, um, there's stuff that I/we really do need to be doing.

C) Boring - for generating blog content here, anyway.

I guess the upside is due to B, offset by A, C may well soon stop being an issue... more soon.

93 Days To Go: The Venue Is Giving Me Palpitations

I've been trying to reach my contact (or her replacement?!) at the venue for three weeks and have received no call or email back.

All better be well or I'm'a'gonna sue 'em for the cost of a wedding.

A much, much more expensive wedding than the one I'm currently planning...

99 Days to Go: Father of the Bride (The Movie)

Watched "Father of the Bride"...

With my very own FOB.

Awwww.

Incidentally, I'd never seen the original before - just the Steve Martin remake - and this might be the first time ever when I actually enjoyed a film and its remake equally. I mean, I probably do prefer the remake, just because the humor resonates a bit more (and I do love Steve Martin), but there's a lot that the remake flat-out stole from the original. That makes the original get a lot of the credit for some truly timeless gems.

However, the tagline of "The Bride gets the THRILLS! Father gets the BILLS!", well... maybe not. And the whole going-from-her-father's-home-and-keep-straight-to-her-husband's, well... hey. Even the parents of the bride had separate beds in the original (thanks, Hayes Code!), so at least it's dated across the board.

Happy Thanksgiving / 100 DAYS

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Chanukah!

ALSO IT'S ONLY 100 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING.

What. The. WHAT.