Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something 32

“Have you heard that parody song, ‘32’?” My friend asked.

“What’s that?” I said.

“Ohmigawd it’s awesome,” she gushed. “It’s making fun of Taylor Swift’s heartfelt song ‘22.’”

“I haven’t heard that, either,” I said.

“That’s because you’re old,” she said. “Tell you what. Skip Taylor Swift’s song, but go watch the parody.”

I watched both. Because I needed to know. Without further comment, I shall simply say that yes, the one for and by my fellow 30somethings is the one that looks a lot more like my life. And hip size. Enjoy the parody:
 As for the original Taylor Swift song, well, you’ve probably already heard it – because I’m not that old (thanks, friend) but I am a nerd. Which means my radio is usually on NPR.  

This little ditty is particularly well-timed, though, because when my friend mentioned it, I had LITERALLY JUST STARTED COMPILING A LIST OF HOW DIFFERENTLY I WOULD’VE APPROACHED THIS WHOLE BRIDAL/MARRIAGE THING 10 YEARS AGO.

Here’s just a sampling of some of the things I feel differently about now, in my thirties, than if I had been bride-ing it up in my twenties – which, incidentally, also constitutes a preview of the next few posts you can expect to see here:

1) Expectations (i.e., my own)
2) Expectations (i.e., other people's)
3) Changing my name
4) The Dress
5) Equality (i.e., everyone's)
6) My Body
7) Ritual & Tradition
8) Bachelorette Parties
9) Bachelor Parties
10) Bridesmaid Dresses

....to name just a few. I'll be walking down the aisle at 32, and yeah, Taylor - I'll be feelin' it.

What's an Off Season Bride? I Am!

Hello. My name is Beth, and I am an Off Season Bride.

OMG in the middle of typing,
I still get thrown by this thing.

How am I "off"? Let me count the ways:

1) I'm a decade behind most of my friends. I'm a 30something first-timer to this bridal-thing. Since most of my peers got married 5 to 10 years ago (or more), I've been to many a wedding, and been in several. Rookie Bride, but Veteran Bridesmaid. Practically a professional. In fact, I once spent a full week in a bridesmaid dress; more on that later. The point is, I'm already realizing that this whole bridal-thing is something that I'm not only doing later than a lot of my friends, but also something I'm experiencing in a very different way now than I would have in my twenties. For better, or worse - but hopefully, mostly, for better.

2) We're having a late winter wedding. To clarify: NOT ON OR NEAR VALENTINE'S DAY, Y'ALL. But a late winter wedding. Which technically makes the wedding "off season," too - which is super awesome for venue and flight prices, bee tee dubs.

3) I am an indie-artsy-theater-nerd-writer-girl/native Midwesterner, who (due to life being hilarious) will be getting married in Mississippi, under a chuppah. Enough said.

4) My fiancé and I have already been together for about six years. Which means a lot of folks have made jokes about our timing being off (though, after much debate, I think our timing is spot-on; more on that later, too). It also makes me feel weird that a year and a half from now, we will celebrate our "one year anniversary" as we approach 8 actual years of being together, and, like, 6 years of folding each others' underwear. How does that work?

5) Speaking of the fiancé, did I mention he's a stand-up comedian? Yeah, for real. People actually marry comedians. (Though to be clear, he does have a day job - where he gets to drink at the office... where I used to work...) The thing is, he's awesome and makes me laugh every day. And also uses me for material sometimes all the damn time. And you know what they say about payback.

All things considered, especially when you throw in my future husband's and my collective lack of mushy-inclinations, I think I qualify as off, bridal-y-speaking. Probably some of you out there do, too. And then I'm guessing there are you others who want to watch my off-kilter escapades the way you watch reality television, cracking open a bottle, picking favorite cast members, and hoping someone cries or mud-wrassles or flips a table before it's all over.

No promises. But Honey Boo Boo Child is, frankly, a little threatened by me.

OH! One final thing I should make clear. This blog is not an advice-site. I am claiming zero wedding expertise (other than when it comes to being a reasonably-kickass bridesmaid). This is a story-sharing, celebrating, venting, writing-so-I-don't-freak-out site. It's a journey.

So c'mon, let's (b)ride.