Bachelor vs. Spinster

Okay. Before I jump back into this whole bridal-awesome-weird-hot-mess-shebang, I have to rant for a second about something that has bothered me for YEARS.

Bachelors vs. Spinsters.

Let's do a little word-association, shall we?

When I hear BACHELOR, I think...

• "Swingin' bachelor pad"
• Fun, life of the party; smooth, slick, flirtatious...
• Single and loving it
• Red smoking jackets (I'm just being honest)

When I hear SPINSTER, I think...

• Sad and alone, and bitter about it
• Rocking chairs and afghans
• Hermit-like, afraid of bright lights; prefers radio to television and knitting to basically everythng else...
• Too many cats and not enough teeth (I may be confusing spinsters with Appalachian hicks - but again, just being honest)

Maxine, The Classic Spinster.
Thanks a lot, Hall--- I mean,
Copyright Hallmark.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think so. I think the way that I, and presumably plenty of other reasonably bright and open-minded people, envision women who do not marry vs. men who do not marry says a lot about society. Social expectations, and gender roles, and how we value people. If a woman can't land a man, there must be something wrong with her; if a man never gets tied down, he's living the dream, the lucky bastard!

(Unless, of course, the bachelor is suspected to be a confirmed bachelor, but that's a whole other don't-get-me-started-right-now post.)

I get kind of ticked when I think about the fact that if D never married, he'd be cool, and if I never married, people would worry about me. Just because he identifies as a dude, and I as a dudette. The more I think about it, the more this extends not only to marital status but to pretty much any relationship interaction.

Think: sexual activity. Try some free associations around the words we hear thrown at sexually active unmarried women vs. the words we hear proudly clapped on the back of sexually active unmarried men.

I'm not getting married to avoid becoming a spinster, but I'd be lying if I said that I'm not a little relieved that I'll never be referred to as such. Still: why can't we have a nicer, more fun, robust, bachelor-y word for women who decide not to walk down the aisle?

And in the meantime, here's another problem. Know another word I've never liked?

Wife...

(But I totally like the sound of husband.)

What about the rest of you? Just semantics? Any positive associations with spinster? Chime in!