Oh, Right: People Are Creepy!

So, as loyal readers will know, I've already purchased at least one wedding dress that I won't be wearing. It's not a returnable item, so I decided I would try to re-sell it. I listed it on Tradesy, and after a few weeks of a bite here and there but no buyer, I decided on a whim to also list it locally, on Creepslist. I mean, Craigslist.

No, actually, I mean Creepslist. The post, advertising a "beautiful, elegant wedding dress; never worn" got a response within five minutes of going live.

The  response was this (sic sic sic):

U LOOKIN 2 HOOK UP? LETS GET 2GETHER.
U CAN BRING THAT WEDING DRESS.

In other words, some random Creepster was all like:

"BRING THE DRESS. Yes?"

And I was all like:

"WHAAAAAAAAT? No. No. Nononononono."

This message (thankfully sent through the anonymous, email-hidden Craigslist messaging system) has reminded of two important things:

1. There are people in the world who see "never-worn wedding dress" and think I have a shot with this vulnerable chick! I bet she wants to hook up with me and do freaky things while wearing a dress because she is sad! These people freaking LOVE Craigslist. This is probably why Craigslist hides your real email address. And why Best of Craigslist is a thing.
2. Despite still having some AAAIIIEEEEE GETTING MARRIED IS SCARY moments, I am really glad I have a cool partner I am going to marry. Because getting a message like this, just for listing a wedding dress for sale, reminded me of what dating can be like. At least for the immediate future, there is zero chance of me putting on glasses colored rose by time and distance and romanticizing what dating (at least, my dating life) was actually like.

Thanks, Craiglist. You have yet to bring me any actual money, but you sure do deliver some important life lessons.

Is "No Chicken Nuggets in the Bathroom" Too Much To Ask?

So, I posted some of the pictures of me trying on pretty dresses.

Now the ugly truth: that particular day, I had possibly the least special-bridey-romantic-pretty moment of this whole process so far.

After trying on the first  50  six dresses, I had to use the loo, so I excused myself and made my way to the ladies' room. I walked in, locked the door behind me, and immediately gasped aloud at the filth. In addition to pee-stains (EWWWW) and random clumps of toilet paper clinging wetly in the corners (GROOOSSSS), THERE WERE HALF-EATEN CHICKEN NUGGETS STREWN ABOUT THE FLOOR.

Don't believe me? Oh, I took a picture:

Can you see the pee? And the nugget? And some toilet paper bits?
In one shot, I tried to capture as much of the environment as possible.

I wanted to run screaming from this gross room, crying out a warning to everyone else: "They keep saying words like special and beautiful bride and magic and organza fantasy BUT IT'S A SHAM, THERE ARE CHICKEN NUGGETS IN THE CRAPPER!"

Trouble was, I really had to pee. I knew I couldn't squeeze into any more dresses without doing so, and knew I had several more selections already pulled from the racks from my dear friend and the darling MOB, awaiting my return. So I took a picture, steeled my nerves, then commenced with the task at hand, hovering over the toilet...

... which is when I learned that the lock to the door did not work, because without so much as a courtesy knock (WHEN DID PEOPLE STOP COURTESY KNOCKING?!) some stranger barged right into the room and stared at me on the toilet.

"Oh!" She gasped. "Sorry!"

Then her eyes drifted down to the chicken nuggets, and she continued staring WITH THE FREAKIN' DOOR OPEN, until I said "Please close the door!"

Which she did.

But it was too late.

I felt violated, disgusting, disgusted, and decidedly non beautiful-bride-y.

Come on, bridal shop. Step it up! Is "no chicken nuggets in the bathroom" (okay, and no strangers watching me pee) really too much to ask?

I think not.